Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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