Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
