Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
