I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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