u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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