Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
