I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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