I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
