My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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