Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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