I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
