He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Boobs speak an international language.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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