I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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