I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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