He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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