Tell her she can't have a vagina
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
