omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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