what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
