I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Randomize
