thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
