at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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