Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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