the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
