We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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