hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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