; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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