You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
where am i from again
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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