Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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