Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
