did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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