First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
