physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i would punch a child for taco bell
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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