We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
