My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
pray to the hookup gods
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
