last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
