I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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