he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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