I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
