I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
