My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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