Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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