so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize