just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
