Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
