he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
