You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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