I want to have your abortion
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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