It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
