Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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