I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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