only if we run a train.
done.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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