just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
