i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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