you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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