my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
