on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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